Psychology of Change Part 4

Michael Coleman, CHC, CPT, CES:

So pre-contemplation, which is the first stage, would, in my mind, connect to curiosity — so that people could even focus.

Contemplation would connect to passion. So they start to develop a passion and contemplate exploring more preparation.

That word, preparation, then would connect with purpose.

Action would connect to autonomy, feeling that they have the self-efficacy to take action and establish this new behavior.

And then, finally, maintenance, which I would connect with mastery.

Yao Olivares, M.S., LMHC, LPC:

Since we're actually in this action stage, one of the essential techniques and strategies and the mental attitude that I really encourage some of my clients to take is to start seeing your life from the lens of feedback and not judgment.

So, the difference is that when we take a new action, we often approach it with a binary mentality: “This is good, or this is bad.” Or “I passed, or I failed.”

And whenever we get into that type of mentality, especially when something is new, we’re not going to be great right away. — That narrative of like, well, “I don't know how to do it, I suck, I'm bad, I failed!” all those things.

Well, that's not going to really motivate you to take action continuously!

However, if you start seeing it from the point of feedback, you start almost building that framework of just collecting data and information. And with that, that's what we really want. And once we see that experience, we can assess it better.

Michael Coleman:

And I agree. And I also believe that just because a percentage of your plans will be wrong, it doesn't mean you shouldn't start.

Like, when you make a business plan, you can't know everything that's going to happen in 20 years. I mean, things are going to change. And now, because of AI and all of these new things that are coming in, it will change even more rapidly.

But once you start, if you have a good plan, even you can pivot and work it as you go through. But like you said, some people want it to be perfect, and the plan is to be perfect. But knowing that it's not going to be perfect.

There's a Japanese phrase, wabi-sabi, which you probably have heard before. It means “the beauty of imperfection.” But I would also say it's not just the beauty of imperfection; it's the truth of imperfection.

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